The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Author John Gottman, PhD
ISBN-10 9781101902912
Release 2015-05-05
Pages 320
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Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages. This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved. Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman's workshops, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the result of Dr. John Gottman's many years of closely observing thousands of marriages. This kind of longitudinal research has never been done before. Based on his findings, he has culled seven principles essential to the success of any marriage. Maintain a love map. Foster fondness and admiration. Turn toward instead of away. Accept influence. Solve solvable conflicts. Cope with conflicts you can't resolve. Create shared meaning. Dr. Gottman's unique questionnaires and exercises will guide couples on the road to revitalizing their marriage, or making a strong one even better.



The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work

The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work Author John Gottman
ISBN-10 9781409137139
Release 2011-07-21
Pages 288
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The revolutionary guide to show couples how to create an emotionally intelligent relationship - and keep it on track Straightforward in its approach, yet profound in its effect, the principles outlined in this book teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman has scientifically analysed the habits of married couples and established a method of correcting the behaviour that puts thousands of marriages on the rocks. He helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr Gottman's workshops, this is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.



The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Author John Gottman, Ph.D.
ISBN-10 9780609899533
Release 2002-02-04
Pages 271
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Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages. This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved. Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman's workshops, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the result of Dr. John Gottman's many years of closely observing thousands of marriages. This kind of longitudinal research has never been done before. Based on his findings, he has culled seven principles essential to the success of any marriage. Maintain a love map. Foster fondness and admiration. Turn toward instead of away. Accept influence. Solve solvable conflicts. Cope with conflicts you can't resolve. Create shared meaning. Dr. Gottman's unique questionnaires and exercises will guide couples on the road to revitalizing their marriage, or making a strong one even better.



Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage

Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage Author John Gottman, PhD
ISBN-10 9780307347114
Release 2006-05-16
Pages 256
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In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, marital psychologists John and Julie Gottman provide vital tools—scientifically based and empirically verified—that you can use to regain affection and romance lost through years of ineffective communication. In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washington made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict—with more than 90 percent accuracy—whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods. Now the Gottmans, together with the Love Lab research facility, have put these ideas into practice. What emerged from the Gottmans’ collaboration and decades of research is a body of advice that’s based on two surprisingly simple truths: Happily married couples behave like good friends, and they handle their conflicts in gentle, positive ways. The authors offer an intimate look at ten couples who have learned to work through potentially destructive problems—extramarital affairs, workaholism, parenthood adjustments, serious illnesses, lack of intimacy—and examine what they’ve done to improve communication and get their marriages back on track. Hundreds of thousands have seen their relationships improve thanks to the Gottmans’ work. Whether you want to make a strong relationship more fulfilling or rescue one that’s headed for disaster, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage is essential reading. From the Hardcover edition.



Making Marriage Work

Making Marriage Work Author Lynn Toler
ISBN-10 9781572846975
Release 2012-08-07
Pages 224
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As the judge starring on the hit nationally syndicated television show Divorce Court, Lynn Toler witnesses, en masse, the thematic mistakes made in American marriages. She herself has also been wed for 22 years and has seen both the highs and lows of matrimony in her own marriage as well as the marriages of those close to her. While the national divorce rate hovers around the 50% threshold, there is a lot of chatter that marriage as we know it is an outdated institution--that we are too selfish, too unwilling to make sacrifices, and too misguided by elevated expectations of happiness to make marriage work. While these points may hold some validity, a lot of this chatter is nothing new. So what's causing so many divorces and, perhaps even more importantly, what are we to do about it if we want marriage to survive? Drawing from both her professional career and personal life, Toler sees that the biggest impediment to marriage these days is that couples decide to take the plunge based almost entirely on the most irrational criteria: falling in love. Making Marriage Work doesn't suggest that love has nothing to do with marriage at all; rather, Toler says that love by itself is simply not enough to make marriages survive. This book is a logical and simple guide to reintroducing some of the practicality of marriage that has leaked out of it over the years. Marriage, Toler says, is a job, and it needs to be treated like one. However, the makeup and consistency of this job has changed so much over the past few decades that the old rules no longer apply. Making Marriage Work is an updated manual to help get the job of marriage done right in this day and age. It suggests specific procedures that should be put in place to bridge the gap between head over heels and happily ever after. It explains how to phrase things in order to span the great hormonal divide men and women often fall into when trying to talk to one another. It also discusses the very new and real challenges to marriage created in a culture often overwhelmed by the emphasis on (and ability to attain) instant gratification. Replete with simple, no-nonsense rules, Divorce Court anecdotes, and stories about Judge Toler's own union, Making Marriage Work contains invaluable information couples can use today to secure their marital tomorrow.



Marriage

Marriage Author Megan Coulter
ISBN-10 1514700107
Release 2015-06-24
Pages 88
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Marriage - Seven Principles of Making Marriage WorkMarriage is a long journey, which needs both partners to be committed 100%. There are so many things that we will need to experience in marriage on our own before we can get the understanding of marriage in reality. A lot of times we are told that arguments in marriages are bad. Sometimes the quarrels that take place are about trivial things such as where to put the laundry basket, how to use the toothpaste, etc. which should not be so. This can be stopped or put to an end when every partner realizes that they are an important part of making the marriage work.A good marriage has nothing to do with finding your soul mate or some unique person who will always make you happy. It is also not by chance or about being lucky. Here in this book you are going to know about how to make your marriage successful and will also learn about the seven principles that one must follow to make their marriage work. I am sure if you will apply these 7 principles in your married life, then it will be successful and you will lead a happy and healthy life with your partner.



What Makes Love Last

What Makes Love Last Author John Mordechai Gottman
ISBN-10 9781451608489
Release 2013-09-10
Pages 304
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"One of the foremost relationship experts at work today applies the insights of science toward understanding the real meaning of trust between a couple. He decodes the "why" behind betrayal and shows how partners can avoid or recover from unfaithfulness and maintain a loving relationship.Dr. John Gottman, the country's pre-eminent researcher on marriage, is famous for his Love Lab at the University of Washington in Seattle where he deciphers the mysteries of human relationships through scientific research. His thirty-five years of exploration have earned him numerous major awards, including from the National Institute of Mental Health, the American Psychological Association, and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Now, Dr. Gottman offers surprising findings and advice on the characteristic that is at the heart of all relationships: Trust. Dr. Gottman has developed a formula that precisely calculates any couple's loyalty level. The results determine a relationship's likely future, including the potential for one or both partners to stray. A Love You Can Trust shows couples how to bolster their trust level and avoid what Dr. Gottman calls the "Roach Motel for Lovers." He describes how the outcome of--"sliding door moments," small pivotal points between a couple, can lead either to more emotional connection or to discontent. He suggests a new approach to handling adultery and reveals the varied and unexpected non-sexual ways that couples often betray each other. A Love You Can Trust guides couples through an empirically tested, trust-building program that will let them repair and maintain a long-term, intimate, and romantic relationship"--



The Science of Trust Emotional Attunement for Couples

The Science of Trust  Emotional Attunement for Couples Author John M. Gottman
ISBN-10 9780393707403
Release 2011-05-09
Pages 496
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An eminent therapist explains what makes couples compatible and how to sustain a happy marriage. For the past thirty-five years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship. Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times. Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient. This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.



The Man s Guide to Women

The Man s Guide to Women Author John Gottman
ISBN-10 9781623361853
Release 2016-02-02
Pages 224
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Results from world-renowned relationship expert John Gottman's famous Love Lab have proven an incredible truth: Men make or break relationships. Based on 40 years of research, The Man's Guide to Women unlocks the mystery of how to attract, satisfy, and succeed with a woman for a lifetime. For the first time ever, there is a science-based answer to the age-old question: What do women really want in a man?

Dr. Gottman, author of the New York Times bestseller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, and his wife and collaborator, clinical psychologist Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, have pored over the research along with bestselling coauthors Douglas Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD. Together, they have written this definitive guide for men, providing answers on everything from how to approach a woman and build a connection with her to how to truly satisfy her in bed and know when the relationship is on the right track. The Man's Guide to Women is a must-have playbook for how to play--and win--the game of love.



Making Marriage Work

Making Marriage Work Author Rob Pascale
ISBN-10 9781442256989
Release 2016-02-23
Pages 280
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Staying happily married has become a difficult proposition in recent times. Although the institution is still firmly embedded in our culture, divorce rates have steadily climbed since the 1960s. While some marriages are truly divorce-worthy, many other broken marriages can be saved. Recent emphasis on personal needs and greater social acceptance of divorce and alternative lifestyles may have weakened the resolve of partners to work through their problems. Furthermore, many couples may not realize that problems in their current marriages are likely to surface in other relationships. Consequently, while they may consider divorce a solution, it may in fact only be a stepping stone to the next relationship where patterns may repeat. Solving marital differences can be difficult. They tend to be linked to or caused by other problems, and that can make it hard to identify the real reasons for conflicts. Without knowing the true nature of their problems, couples cannot arrive at solutions that actually work. To understand the underlying issues that plague many marriages, the authors look to the research conducted on the subject over the past fifty years and to real life stories of success and failure to outline the major issues that detract from marital stability. Drawing on Louis Primavera’s twenty-five years in private practice as a marriage counselor, each chapter is peppered with anecdotes that every married person can relate to, and that help bring issues to life. The authors also propose frank and honest solutions that can help couples have more satisfying relationships. Anyone looking to improve their marriage will find suggestions for sussing out the underlying problems they may be experiencing and guidance for addressing those problems.



10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology

10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy  Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology Author Julie Schwartz Gottman
ISBN-10 9780393710502
Release 2015-10-26
Pages 288
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From the country’s leading couple therapist duo, a practical guide to what makes it all work. In 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy, two of the world’s leading couple researchers and therapists give readers an inside tour of what goes on inside the consulting rooms of their practice. They have been doing couples work for decades and still find it challenging and full of learning experiences. This book distills the knowledge they've gained over their years of practice into ten principles at the core of good couples work. Each principle is illustrated with a clinically compiled case plus personal side-notes and storytelling. Topics addressed include: • You know that you need to “treat the relationship,” but how are you supposed to get at something as elusive as “a relationship”? • How do you empathize with both clients if they have opposite points of view? Later on, if they end up separating does that mean you’ve failed? Are you only successful if you keep couples together? • Compared to an individual client, a relationship is an entirely different animal. What should you do first? What should you look for? What questions should you ask? If clients give different answers, who should you believe? • What are you supposed to do with all the emotional and personal history that your clients stir up in you? • How can you make your work research-based? No one who works with couples will want to be without the insight, guidance, and strategies offered in this book.



Meta Emotion

Meta Emotion Author John Mordechai Gottman
ISBN-10 9781134795970
Release 2013-02-01
Pages 384
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This book describes research on the emotional communication between parents and children and its effect on the children's emotional development. Inspired by the work, and dedicated to the memory of Dr. Haim Ginott, it presents the results of initial exploratory work with meta-emotion--feelings about feelings. The initial study of meta-emotion generated some theory and made it possible to propose a research agenda. Clearly replication is necessary, and experiments are needed to test the path analytic models which have been developed from the authors' correlational data. The authors hope that other researchers will find these ideas interesting and stimulating, and will inspire investigation in this exciting new area of a family's emotional life.



The Quick Reference Guide to Marriage Family Counseling

The Quick Reference Guide to Marriage   Family Counseling Author Dr. Tim Clinton
ISBN-10 1441210946
Release 2009-09-01
Pages 304
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We all know of families or marriages in crisis. When those suffering in such situations turn to us for help, where do we turn? The Quick-Reference Guide to Marriage and Family Counseling provides the answers. It is an A-Z guide for assisting people-helpers--pastors, professional counselors, youth workers, and everyday believers--to easily access a full array of information to aid them in (formal and informal) counseling situations. Issues addressed by Clinton and Trent include affairs and adultery, communication in marriage, parenting, sibling rivalry, and many more. Each of the forty topics covered follows a helpful eight-part outline and identifies: 1) typical symptoms and patterns, 2) definitions and key thoughts, 3) questions to ask, 4) directions for the conversation, 5) action steps, 6) biblical insights, 7) prayer starters, and 8) recommended resources. About the series The Quick-Reference Guides are A-Z guides that assist people-helpers--pastors, professional counselors, youth workers, and everyday believers--to easily access a full array of information to aid them in (formal and informal) counseling situations. Each of the forty topics covered follows a helpful eight-part outline and identifies: 1) typical symptoms and patterns, 2) definitions and key thoughts, 3) questions to ask, 4) directions for the conversation, 5) action steps, 6) biblical insights, 7) prayer starters, and 8) recommended resources.



Created for Connection

Created for Connection Author Sue Johnson
ISBN-10 9780316307406
Release 2016-10-04
Pages 336
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"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."--1 John 4:8 Are you looking to enrich a healthy relationship, revitalize a tired one, or rescue one gone awry? Do you yearn to grow closer to God, and to further incorporate Him and His teachings into your marriage? We all want a lifetime of love, support, and faith. But sometimes we need a little help. Enter Dr. Sue Johnson, developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and "the best couple therapist in the world," according to bestselling relationship expert Dr. John Gottman. In CREATED FOR CONNECTION, Dr. Johnson and Kenneth Sanderfer, a leading EFT practitioner in the Christian community, share Johnson's groundbreaking and remarkably successful program for creating stronger, more secure relationships not only between partners, but between us and God. The message of CREATED FOR CONNECTION is simple: Forget about learning how to argue better, analyzing your early childhood, or making grand romantic gestures. Instead, get to the emotional underpinnings of your relationship by recognizing that you are attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent, and we are on the Heavenly Father, for nurturing, soothing, and protection. The way to enhance or save our relationships with each other and with God is to be open, attuned, responsive, and to reestablish safe emotional connection. Filled with Bible verses, inspiring real-life stories, and guidance, CREATED FOR CONNECTION will ensure a lifetime of love.



Reconcilable Differences

Reconcilable Differences Author Andrew Christensen
ISBN-10 9781606238301
Release 1999-10-06
Pages 332
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Every couple has arguments, but what happens when recurring battles begin to feel like full-scale war? Do you retreat in hurt and angry silence, hoping that a spouse who "just doesn't get it" will eventually see things your way? Spend the time between skirmishes gathering evidence that you're right? Demand some immediate changes--or else? Whether due to innate personality traits or emotional vulnerabilities, there are some aspects of our behavior that are difficult to alter. But these differences do not have to get in the way of healthy, happy, and long-lasting romance. This practical guide offers new solutions for couples frustrated by continual attempts to make each other change. Aided by thought-provoking exercises and lots of real-life examples, readers will learn why they keep having the same fights again and again; how to keep small incompatibilities from causing big problems; and how true acceptance can restore health to their relationships.



Making Marriage Simple

Making Marriage Simple Author Harville Hendrix
ISBN-10 9780770437138
Release 2013-03-12
Pages 208
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Change the relationship you have into the one you want. Welcome to the Relationship Revolution! Making Marriage Simple is the accessible, essential road map to building a strong marriage in the modern world. Bestselling authors Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt distill into ten essential truths what they've learned about how to create a successful and satisfying relationship—both from their decades of “R&D” in the marriage lab of their workshops, and from their own relationship journey. In each chapter, Harville and Helen introduce a simple truth—such as “a frustration is a wish in disguise,” “incompatibility is grounds for marriage,” or “conflict is growth trying to happen”—and then walk couples through easy yet effective exercises to help them apply each truth in real life, every day. Harville and Helen have spent their careers helping couples transform their marriages through research, workshops, and counseling. But marriage—even for marriage experts—is never easy, and a number of years ago they found themselves on the brink of divorce. Harville and Helen put themselves back through the exercises they’d coached so many other couples through, saving their marriage and helping them achieve a true partnership. This book is for all couples. It offers the practical tools needed to transform one’s relationship into a rewarding and joyous marriage. Written with humor, compassion, and honesty, and illustrated throughout with engaging line drawings, Making Marriage Simple is a strategic blueprint for creating a stronger, more satisfying partnership in today's world.



Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child

Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child Author John Gottman
ISBN-10 9781439126165
Release 2011-09-20
Pages 240
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Intelligence That Comes from the Heart Every parent knows the importance of equipping children with the intellectual skills they need to succeed in school and life. But children also need to master their emotions. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child is a guide to teaching children to understand and regulate their emotional world. And as acclaimed psychologist and researcher John Gottman shows, once they master this important life skill, emotionally intelligent children will enjoy increased self-confidence, greater physical health, better performance in school, and healthier social relationships. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child will equip parents with a five-step "emotion coaching" process that teaches how to: * Be aware of a child's emotions * Recognize emotional expression as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching * Listen empathetically and validate a child's feelings * Label emotions in words a child can understand * Help a child come up with an appropriate way to solve a problem or deal with an upsetting issue or situation Written for parents of children of all ages, Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child will enrich the bonds between parent and child and contribute immeasurably to the development of a generation of emotionally healthy adults.